Who is a Good girl?


Everybody said Tanya is a good girl which included features like being polite, listening to elders, having a good friend-circle, never arguing or fighting with anyone, doing whatever is being told, no late nights or even late evenings, no smoke, no drink, studying hard, a great cook with a spotless kitchen.

But, was that the real Tanya?  No, for heaven’s sake.  This is sounding more like a marketing image of a good girl.  It’s an image cultivated to satisfy the society.   It’s an image largely influenced by movies wherein, something bad happens to the girl the moment she steps out of the house, or at a party she is attacked,  or as the villain’s mole she is smoking and drinking and seem to be having a good time.  But the good girl (the heroine or the mother) is shown as an epitome of virtue which is really difficult to maintain in real life.


All the time Tanya was longing to go out with friends for a late evening, wanting to understand what fun is like.  She would have loved to bring more of her less ‘good’ friends home and introduce them to the family, so that they know that their fears are baseless.  If Tanya is not arguing or fighting with anybody,  I would seriously think she has no opinions or even worse, she has no knowledge about the subject at all and therefore keeping quiet.  Someone will surely discover after close acquaintance, that she is quite dumb.

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Just because someone drinks or smokes, doesn’t make a person bad.  Our Gods and Goddesses are shown as drinking bhang and smoking chillums.  Does it make them bad?  It’s an individual or rather personal choice with sufficient health warnings on the packaging.

The quality of listening to elders and talking softly to males is also a problem especially if the girl is career oriented.  I discovered this that in a corporate world,  age will not matter.  Its your knowledge which will matter.  Also, the teams will consist of boys and girls.  If the boss is a female and she has to talk down to you, does that make the boss a bad girl? They have a better word for such a boss – B***h.  If she is indulging in politics which almost all the guys indulge in, does she become bad? And what about the famous working boys smoking groups and drinking groups?  Are the men bad then?

Then why should the girl need to be good as per someone’s perception.

For me a good girl is someone who has deep integrity, is caring, has empathy, is willing to listen to you without judging,  is deeply knowledgeable.  In fact, it would be the same definition for a good boy too.  Everything else is superfluous, just an image.

Oh! And now I am sounding like a bad girl questioning these notions of a ‘good girl’.