Dilemma in love #fiction

Keeping up with my resolution of writing more fiction,  here is the first one after 3 months.  There is some rustiness,  some laziness which seems to have set in.  Let me know your critical comments for future improvements.  Was it boring?  Predictable?  Grammar?  Too long?  Too short?  No story in it?


heart-762564_640Dean saw the little girl first.  Dressed in soft purple, with a sparkly clip on her head,  the little girl was in Niki’s arms.  The girl was maybe a year old or two.  He was not sure.  Niki looked frazzled with the baby in her arms and a large oversized bag on her shoulder.    She still managed to look beautiful and took his breath away.  All eyes in the restaurant were on her.  The concierge went to her immediately and offered to help.  She seemed to be searching for someone and finally her eyes locked with Dean’s and smiled.

After the initial hesitation,  he got up and walked to her to help with the baby and the bag.  He was still a bit surprised with the baby.  Niki had never mentioned she had a baby.   Well,  if she had,  Dean was sure to accept her.

‘Sorry Dean.  But, the babysitter was not available to take care of her and I couldn’t warn you in advance,’ said Niki as she settled into her chair.   She put the baby in the baby chair and took a deep breath.  

‘Kim, say hello to Uncle Dean,’ she said.

‘Unc..unk..D,’  Kim babbled.

Dean couldn’t take his eyes off Kim.   In fact, the little girl had been a complete surprise.  So,  Niki has a baby.  Who is the father?  Where is he?  Will there be complications if they decide to be together.  Will his orthodox parents accept her?

Dean came out of his thoughts when he realized Niki was waving the menu in front of his face.

‘Oh!  Sorry.  I was away.   You decide on the menu.  I will have a beer,’  he said.

He looked at baby Kim.  She was content playing with a toy.  She did have a likeness to Niki.  He already loved her.  But, is he ready for responsibilities?  Well, if Niki is, so is he, he decided.

Niki’s cell beeped.  She covered her mouth when she spoke on the phone.  Dean ignored it and tried to get Kim’s attention.

‘Dean, Do you like her?,’  asked Niki.

‘Yeah, why shouldn’t I?’

‘My sister Cassie will be here to pick her up,’  she said.

‘Oh no! I am perfectly ok to have her …..here,’ said Dean.

Cassie,  another likeness of Niki,  walked into the restaurant towards their table.  Kim looked up and smiled ‘Mamma, mamma.’

‘Mamma?’ queried Dean.

‘Don’t be weird.  She’s Cassie’s baby,’ said Niki.

‘Ohho,’ he laughed in relief.

21 thoughts on “Dilemma in love #fiction

  1. I loved the little test you put Dean through and more so how in his heart he’d accepted the child so effortlessly. A beautiful portrayal of true love 🙂
    Loved the story Lata 😀

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