It feels like a distant past when I would be rushing around life, doing my job, taking care of family and being busy in keeping the wheels of life churning along smoothly. Every time I would wish for 30 minutes of peace, an extra hour to sleep in with no disturbances. Many times, I would wonder, is it all worth it? On the surface, I was busy. But inside, I was exhausted and fatigued.
Then came the diagnosis that I need to undergo a double surgery. The doctor took one look at me and said, you need to exercise and get the body fitter to undergo surgery. I started planning immediately on the need to squeeze out some ‘me’ time.
I blocked my work calendar on outlook for 1 hour in the evening everyday. I forced myself to go for a one hour walk. I guarded the hour like something precious. Nothing could dissuade me from this golden hour. Unless of course, there were some exceptions and I couldn’t move it.
I was worried about the family getting on life without my support. I had planned to the last nitty-gritty of everyday life, stocked up on food and emergencies. I had to do a detailed ‘knowledge transfer’ to the husband and children.
Its been 3 weeks since the surgery and I am in the process of getting back to normal. There have been a few realizations along the way. The biggest being, life goes on without me. It was disappointing but, everyone survived without me. The husband, the kids, the parents, work, the maid, everyone. And I thought of the stress I had put in routine life.
When I resume my normal routine, I know that I will be a changed person. I will let others in my family take on additional responsibilities. I do not need to ‘be there’ all the time. I should stop thinking of myself as important to others. I can focus on having more ‘me’ time. I can get back to a healthier life, be less cranky and exhausted all the time.
Life will go on and we will survive.